Amalia

 A Fixed Idea by Amy Lowell

What torture lurks within a single thought When grown too constant; and however kind, However welcome still, the weary mind Aches with its presence. Dull remembrance taught Remembers on unceasingly; unsought The old delight is with us but to find That all recurring joy is pain refined, Become a habit, and we struggle, caught. You lie upon my heart as on a nest, Folded in peace, for you can never know How crushed I am with having you at rest Heavy on my life. I love you so You bind my freedom from its rightful quest. In mercy lift your drooping wings and go.

 The poem, //A Fixed Idea // by Amy Lowell, is focusing on the thought that someone that the narrator once loved is now gone. The narrator of the poem, finds pain in recalling this person, because each time memories come back, she also remembers that this person is gone and will not be coming back. So it is a cycle of wanting to remember, and yet also wanting to forget. The narrator recognizes that this person will always be important to her, and that she will always, in some way, love this person. The important part of this poem I think, is when the narrator relies that maybe if she let the memories of the person go, she will feel free again. In the end of the poem, the narrator is begging the memories to go, and to allow her to go on with the rest of her life.
 * Analysis:**

Throughout the poem, the narrator uses images of birds to describe her feelings. Such as said in the line, “You lie upon my heart as on a nest,” which could be interpreted to mean that I will always love you, even when it is time for you to move on. The imagery of a net is used to show that she is caught in this cycle of wanting to remember and wanting to forget. In the last line of the poem it states, “In mercy lift your drooping wings and go.” The narrator is finally asking the old memories to move on and to let her start her life again without the constant memories.

//A Fixed Idea// is written in Petrarchan sonnet format. Petrarchan format is a sonnet is fourteen lines long, in iambic pentameter, and has a rhyming scheme, ABBAABBACDCDCD. A poem like this also has a turning point, which is about mid-way through the poem. A sonnet is often associated with love, which //A Fixed Idea// is also somewhat about. The turn of the poem is when the narrator sees that she still loves this person, yet she has to move on with her own life. She accepts the fact that she is deeply hurt that the person she loved is gone, and that this hurt is holding her back from all of the possibilties in life. An example can be seen in lines nine through thirteen of the excerpt of the poem shown below.

You lie upon my heart as on a nest, Folded in peace, for you can never know How crushed I am with having you at rest Heavy on my life. I love you so You bind my freedom from its rightful quest. (lines 9-13)

The poem reflects the complex feelings of the author. The narrator seems to be reaching for something to explain how she is feeling in the most accurate way. The tone comes across as dark and a little depressing, like how she is caught in a cycle of despair. The topic being discussed in //A Fixed Idea// is really is a dark idea that not many people have experience.